Behind closed lids explosions of colors. blue , pink , green . lips that sometimes are sweet. sometimes
taste of nothing. dry, bleeding , tasting me. cold.
' What are you thinking ? ' whispered close to my ear. breath so warm. close. raising
tiny goosebumps along my arms.
Behind closed lids you are a million different sensations. sometimes soft
and warm , feather-soft touches. other times pain. I hold my hands up to your face. hold my arms. can you
see them ? can you ? feel them ? some are you'rs ... and I really don't remember which ones anymore.
and they never really hurt ...I wanted them to hurt. look closer. yes, that's it. you see them. look. do you want
to know.
' How did ...' you begin but never really finish the question . I didn't expect you to. and so instead
I let you bury your head in my arms. stroke your hair. hear you whispering something. soft, under your breath.
can't make out the words. close my eyes. wonder if I can make the tears come. maybe ? maybe not. but it
doesn't really matter. you're looking at me now. I can feel your eyes on me. open my eyes. stare. smile.
' What are you thinking ' you ask . eyes so dark they threaten to drown me.
' Nothing ' words forming on my lips. coming out of my mouth. even before I can stop myself. ' Nothing '
