your hands are always so cold . like you've been out in the middle of winter without your gloves on. that's why I hold onto them so tightly . or at least that's what I tell myself . you barely notice all the time that has gone by since we last saw each other . you smile and wrap your arms around me . and I'm surprised to discover that you still smell like peppermint and smoke . I smile too . maybe I'm more surprised by the realization that I still remember what you smell like . smile . your lips feel so warm against my cheek . you press harder into me and I realize you've been saying something this whole time . "come with me" I hear you say close to my ear .
and my stomach wants to drop down to my knees . I hate that after 3 years you can still affect me so very much . I hate myself more for letting you . or maybe I hate myself for letting you go in the first place . your hands are always so cold . I rub them between my own trying to warm them for you. I tell myself that's the only reason I still haven't let go . that's the only reason I seem unable to let go .
