GOD [is] A BULLET. COM |

2009-01-24T13:25:00.000-08:00

everyday i seem to become more and more paranoid. slowly (or maybe not so slowly) i'm inching to becoming a true hermit.I would not feel so bad if i didn't know this was tearing my parents hearts.Because no matter how hard i try to explain, they just can't understand that i'm not normal enough to go out and get a nice sweet boy to love me... how's life treating you?

2009-01-18T14:23:00.000-08:00

2009-01-17T21:21:00.000-08:00

life just keeps getting better and better . . no, not really.recently some asshole broke into my car and stole my stereo, my CD mixes and a can of oil. Yeah, no shit.

2007-08-09T07:45:00.000-07:00

work is totally busting my ass ! but I need a new truck . . well, as new as it's going to get. I still totally suck at driving but you everyone is on my back about getting off my ass and learning . . so despite my gut-wrenching anxiety I'm going to give it another try..And we [ The Losers United ] are soooo disappointed in you J.K Rowling ... so so disappointed . .

...sick

2007-06-29T21:16:00.000-07:00

I'm sick and tired of this layout but I haven't been feeling particularly well these past few months . . I had a cancer scare this last month but now it seems like all will be alright.There are so many things I would like to say to you . . butI'm scared that if you knew just how truly messed up I am that you would never be able to look at me again . .I want to make you happy . .but more then that

2007-06-24T14:55:00.000-07:00

... I'm mostly dead at the moment

2007-03-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

I'm loving Lex's new writing . . even though, he's still an asshole [ Ha ! ]. I have to admit his writing is getting soooo much better which I sorta didn't think would happen. Went to see them live last night and I nearly got trampled by the teeny-tiny girls that always hang at their shows. It was one of those moments where you wish you'd remember to bring your stun gun . . but I would have

2007-03-10T14:09:00.000-08:00

Two more months before I get my new laptop !!!! YAY !! rejoice motherfuckers . . .Made a new friend online[ what?] and we exchanged cellphone # . . which was sorta creepy at first but now it's cool. She is total love . I have a huge cellphone bill but what the hell it's fun talking to her at night when I should be working.I have a new slash obsession : Pete Wentz/and the beautiful and talented .

2007-02-10T10:47:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went out and bought some stuff. finally. I have this strange desire to jump into a car and just drive away from here . . the only problem is I have no idea where to go ?Any ideas ?

2007-01-10T21:20:00.000-08:00

. . . . I'm still a slasher at heart. forgive me if I don't slash my own characters . .all of you lovelies take care ♥

2007-01-09T21:45:00.000-08:00

I've been totally swamped with work lately and so of course all I've been doing is sleeping. I miss going out with my buds - - even Lex and Jacque .Speaking of Lex . . . I hear some of you found out a little secret about him. He's a good guy . . if not all the time there. HE does enjoy playing with people but I suppose he does it only to those he thinks deserve it. But don't worry about it - - he

2006-12-06T07:09:00.000-08:00

Some people should not be allowed to breed. I've met some real bastards and it makes me shudder to think what totally messed up kids they might have . And no I'm not just dissin on guys . .some women are just as bad.I've always thought I'd make a terrible mother but then you don't see me lining up at the MOMMY-Line .I'm working on Christmas . YIPPEE ! shit, can life suck anymore then this?

ONE

2006-11-29T15:36:00.000-08:00

Let me tell you about my life . .about the things that have made up most of my existence . .or at least the ones that have stayed so imprinted into my consciousness that I've never quite forgotten them. .That first kiss that we shared while we hid under the table hoping no one would find us . .A first kiss that would be as sweet as innocence because that's all there really was in it . .Losing

2006-11-26T07:46:00.000-08:00

I am finished with all my xmas shopping . . .I'm still alive and I guess that's a good thing .Though I'm still feeling pretty shitty but you all know how it goeswhat doesn't kill you . . only causes extreme psychological damage .as always . . .M/L

2006-11-23T12:06:00.000-08:00

I feel so very unhappy today - - I don't know why I ever assumed it could get better for me . I will not go into detail about this because it's a very personal matter but it comes down to making me feel like shit.I've decided to skip thanksgiving .I just wouldn't be able to go through with it . . so I'm just going to stay in my room until I have to go to work.Hope the rest of you are faring

2006-11-16T20:15:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and we still haven't gone out and bought anything . . . that's sorta of our thing . My bro probably won't be coming by so much for the family dinner thing - - oh Well !I tried to lighten my hair and I totally fried it . .thank god I'm seeing my hair stylist soon .

2006-11-11T20:50:00.000-08:00

HAPPY B- DAY SIS MUCH LOVE TO THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN MAKE ME LAUGH NO MATTER WHAT<3

2006-11-10T22:07:00.000-08:00

I love this boy. If you've been reading me then you know who HE is <3

2006-11-08T08:03:00.000-08:00

why is it that parents are always so hard to get along with . I hate getting caught in the middle of an argument but it seems that is the way it has been for as long as I can remember. My sisters are always expecting me to come to their rescue and I'm so used to doing it that now I don't even think about it . Well not until later when I'm storming out of my parents house and I realize that this

2006-10-30T08:15:00.000-08:00

THE NEW HOME OF ALEXANDER THE GREAT. . . all rejoice

2006-10-29T08:42:00.000-08:00

I'm almost done with my new journal thingy but blogger isn't working at the moment so I can't add the finishing touches just yet . my spelling just keeps getting worse and worse . M/L to all

2006-10-26T11:20:00.000-07:00

I'm working on changing the layout . . Ha! let's see if I can find anything more girly. I'm sooo tired - - and my email is shit again .There are so many things I still haven't written . . Jacque , Laurent and I went to Seattle three weeks ago to see Deloures . .It was quite an adventure . . let me get some rest and I'll tell you guys all about it .

2006-10-25T04:25:00.000-07:00

I'm sick . I feel like shit . I have $ 800. 00 dollars in my pocket and I'm not sure if I should go out and spend them . .I can't finish my manuscript - - I hate myself . I need a haircut and some new glasses . .Jacque found a new car he wants to buy . Halloween is coming up and we haven't made plans yet - - HOW SAD IS THAT ?[ tell me you love ]

2006-10-12T20:58:00.000-07:00

This movie [ Stephen Kings IT ] terrorized me when I was a kid . . I was about 10 yrs old when my brother forced me to watch it with him . I have yet to get over my phobia of clowns . . Does anyone out there actually like clows ??

2006-10-11T23:56:00.000-07:00

October 13 is my best girls B-DAY !!

2006-10-10T11:41:00.000-07:00

It is true that friends should never be allowed to leave you - - shouldn't this be some kind of law ? and if they should leave you that at least it may be when you will no longer miss them .I've always known I'm not good at goodbyes . . how many haven't I avoided already. That I'm a bastard who would rather hide then face the truth - - I hope you didn't wait for me to show .And though I know how

2006-09-23T10:35:00.000-07:00

:: Jade :: <------ cuteness

2006-09-23T07:34:00.000-07:00

It's nice to know that even those that don't really know me can understand some of the things I'm going through - - Ha ! I realize I can be a little psychotic at times and I imagine it can be a bit hard to keep up with me .Just this week I discovered I suffer from an obsessive compulsive disorder . . . ^___^;How the hell did I miss this ? oh, right . . . I'm such a scatter brain sometimes . I

2006-09-20T07:14:00.000-07:00

I'm sinking again . Even the things I've always loved doing aren't helping .I miss feeling happy. driving down deserted roads with the radio blasting - -I could always tell Charlie but what's the used . . .I don't want to make her feel bad .Dr. Wombat Chase is still love ♥

2006-09-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

Presenting . . . . The New Home Of Lex n' Friends : The Amoeba

2006-09-17T09:11:00.000-07:00

[ this is a banner I never got around to finishing ]

2006-09-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

I dream of you . But you would know that . . Wouldn't you. Because there has never been anyone else and you know that too and still you don't return to me. Will I wait for you ? You call every Tuesday morning to ask and would you believe if I told you I'm not sure anymore because somehow I think I stopped waiting for you a long time ago. And yet I dream of you. Almost every night so that it's

2006-09-09T07:10:00.000-07:00

Why is it that the moment you think things are about to get better something fucks everything up ?! or does that only happen to me . . I'm in need of a large amount of money . Any ideas of how I could get my hands on it without having to get a second job . .

2006-09-06T11:09:00.000-07:00

2006-09-05T04:23:00.000-07:00

It seems I've grown quite bored with the routine of my life . . . and so I've decided to jump into something new . The problem here of course is that I haven't been able to decide just what to do . . I was thinking of trying to make plushies or t-shirts but I'm not certain on either just yet . Some feedback would be appreciated . Jacque and Lex you are not allowed to suggest anything unless

2006-09-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

:: Eva's Wednesday ::

2006-08-30T18:01:00.000-07:00

[ fun with cars ]

Lost Wars . . .

2006-08-28T07:34:00.000-07:00

Met when we were only fifteen yrs old and you thought you could love me forever. Or so at least you said - - and though I told myself that I could never love you back - - that was the first war I lost .And then you turned 20 and I knew . . . even before you said goodbye . That here was another war I had lost .

2006-08-27T20:40:00.000-07:00

I ♥ Cheeseburgers

2006-08-27T19:51:00.000-07:00

. . .

2006-08-09T11:56:00.000-07:00

I'm so bored right now and to not break my usual routine I'm also starving and while I could go and cook something . .What's easy to cook ??

2006-08-07T21:15:00.000-07:00

Who feels like going for a ride ?? call me up and let's go somewhere . .

2006-08-06T22:25:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD !!!If I wasn't so broke I would take you out to celebrate . .but since I am all I can say is. .I LOVE YOU VERY, VERY MUCH . . .

2006-08-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

I want a girl to kiss . .and a boy to hold my hand when he drops me off a work . .What do you want ?

2006-08-03T06:39:00.000-07:00

I think I have to work today . . .WHY ??!!! it sucks especially since the last three days all I've been doing is staying up all night and now I feel like shit. and now to make matters worse I have to work at night . . . ^^;It's unbelievable just how lazy I've become . .Who wants to go out tonight if I don't work ??

2006-08-02T01:00:00.000-07:00

why I am still awake ? oh . . . yeah.and where are you ?

2006-07-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

I have no direction. It seems that's how it's always been with me so why is it bothering me now ??I want to love you . . I do . . I know you don't believe me but right now I would give anything to feel something. anything . Of course that will never be enough for you . . and why should it .

2006-06-26T23:39:00.000-07:00

Season Two of House out on August 22 !! Weeeee !!!

2006-06-13T07:24:00.000-07:00

{{ NOTICE }}Okay everyone stop calling just to ask how Alex is . . obviously he doesnt' want to talk right now. And he's not here by the way . . when he comes back I promise to let him know you guys asked and asked about him . For now just leave it the fuck alone .{Sigh} Life sucks . . doesn't it

2006-05-27T22:15:00.000-07:00

Li manco appena un poco più ogni giorno. Non rinvierete me?

2006-05-15T16:55:00.000-07:00

obviously I'm still alive . . GOD !! I'm getting more boring by the second and Juice you fuck where are you ? I barely find you on that damn friend site and you disappear again on me . {tear} Don't you love me anymore ??I pissed off my mother again. I SWEAR I didn't do it on purpose but I think there's just no way of talking to her without starting a fight.What's up with all you losers ??

2006-04-21T15:16:00.000-07:00

There was a full moon out that night. And a light breeze kept tugging at my hair. I took a deep breath and turned to look him in the eye.'Steve,' I said .'This night has been perfect.'That's when he informed me his name was David.

2006-04-18T17:32:00.000-07:00

Why do I even bother ?? all this shit is giving me a headache . I have more important things to be worrying about then . . you . So far away from me and probably not even knowing how much it hurts me . Advice ??

2006-04-14T19:38:00.000-07:00

I'm hungry but C-$ and I have been banned from using the car and well . . you know there's no way I'm actually going to attempt cooking. And so here I am hungry . . again - - bored too.:: Do you still wonder about us ? ::

2006-04-09T09:02:00.000-07:00

messenger is crap .. but whatever .. sorry to those who might be trying to keep in contact with me . Is there anyone actually still trying to stay in contact with me ?? that would be more of a surprise then if everything was working properly on this computer .{{ It rained last night }}

2006-04-07T06:41:00.000-07:00

Because Juice is mad and he controls all that is good .. (ja!) I'm going to stay away from that message board for awhile. After all what can I do without you ?BTW I liked your banner :) ..

2006-04-05T01:17:00.000-07:00

2006-04-05T00:48:00.000-07:00

It's true I {{ LOVE }} YOU -----> JUICE ( now answer my fucking emails ! bastard)

2006-03-31T22:09:00.000-08:00

Don't you just hate having to attend work meetings? Maybe it's just me and my paranoia but I always get this strange feeling that the boss is looking right at me whenever he starts to complain about someone not doing a good job .. jajaja .. either that or it's because I know how much I slack . {sigh}I NEED A VACATION

2006-03-24T21:32:00.000-08:00

How I wish I could just stay in bed . .{sigh} I feel so bleh and no one is around to make me feel better. That happens a lot to me it seems. Depression is a bitch . . Why aren't you here with me ??

2006-03-19T22:12:00.000-08:00

Getting ready to leaveand I'm still pissed about not getting to taste the stew. But anyways .. let's hope I can get some work done [ because two days ago I wanted to bash my head into the wall] .I'll be taking my digital camera with me .. and if anything good happens I promise to bring back pictures.Oh yeah .. umm . . I still <3 you

2006-03-04T21:13:00.000-08:00

Haven't been able to sleep for a few days now . I think I need to go out and do some bad evil deeds to feel better . .I hate my crappy internet provider . . it's too damn slow and I can't get any other provider where I'm staying at right now.Lately I've realized I haven't been making much sense ----> Should I worry

2006-03-01T15:52:00.000-08:00

I'm soooo tired . . . But in the mood for some destruction . bleh . come back later . I'm working some good stuff ( hahaha) I PROMISE x

2006-02-26T22:06:00.000-08:00

I'M IN SHOCK . Can someone tell me what just happened ?? I'm sad. How weird is that ? I hope you can get over the awfulness of what just happened tonight. I'm counting on you to be GREAT .I won't give up on you . . I hope you don't give up on yourself either.{M/L}Lu

2006-02-22T12:02:00.000-08:00

2006-02-19T22:03:00.000-08:00

Everytime I hear you sing .. you make me love you even more . .{sigh} How can someone be so fucking beautiful?? You fill my head with words - - with all those things I didn't even know I had inside.And yet you'll never know . .

2006-02-18T06:27:00.000-08:00

Hope you're all staying warm in this crappy weather we've been having . I'm not feeling very undippy . . but then if you me at all that's not news to you. I feel crapptastically depressed -- it might just be the weather or the fact that I'm so fucking alone . . again.When are you returning ?? don't let this cold weather kill me.

2006-02-11T07:53:00.000-08:00

2006-02-07T06:39:00.000-08:00

Valentine's day is coming up . . {sigh}Does this mean I get to miss you now ??

2006-02-02T12:43:00.000-08:00

I want to stalk you . Stand outside your window and sing songs . Proclaim my love for you until you're forced to call the cops on me.Memorize the license plates of your car so that it makes it easier for me to follow you. It's love , damnit . LOVE !!!!!! Kill the evil broccoli .. Save the innocent carrots . {kiss kiss}

2006-01-04T06:29:00.000-08:00

I'm still alive .. believe it or not I've survived the holidays, which in case you all wanted to know . . SUCKED, like a mother..err..well, you get the idea. Like usual they were not what I would have liked them to be but whatever.. move on .New Year already ?? WHAT ?!

2005-12-07T14:09:00.000-08:00

Don't you just hate it when those damn UFOs follow you home . You would if it happened to you as much as it happens to me. Stop looking at me like that !! It's the UFOs !! The UFOs !!{ As you can see I'm still alive }

2005-11-23T06:36:00.000-08:00

godamm I'm sick . It really sucks . . I work this friday and I can't be sick !! what cures a cold ? doctor's sure as hell can't..So what's everyone doing Thanksgiving ?? anything worth mentioning ?{kissxkiss}

2005-11-20T07:37:00.000-08:00

I keep meaning to change some stuff on this thing but I never seem to get around to it . I should really stop adding to my work load . . either that or plan ahead .I miss going out and spending more money then I probably should . It was fun going out with Charlie and just sitting in the car laughing at stupid things we came up with .I don't know if there's anything out there that I love more then

2005-11-16T23:25:00.000-08:00

Ville Valo by PK

2005-11-12T21:23:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Charlie ! !

2005-11-09T12:43:00.000-08:00

Thank You all my lovelies who remembered to send me their love notes. Sorry to all those who I've kept on the line -- I swear lately I've been swamped with work. I've been working on that DVD like mad. But you know how it is . . I got one too many things going at the moment.On other news I swear that cat is going to drive me insane. Is it just me or is there something terribly wrong with felines

2005-11-07T15:46:00.000-08:00

I had forgotten how messed up I get working at night. But it has it's upside I have more time alone . It helps me think. Mr. Man-Nurse is still there and he seemed glad to have me back. That's a first - - half the women there still seem to hate me. Surprise , surprise .I want to buy gifts for everyone I know . . my friends and my family that is .Oh,how I hate my sister's cat . What's wrong with

2005-11-02T18:26:00.000-08:00

I finally got a job. I start this friday - - I'm half -glad and half not so glad . Obviously I need the money but I'm worried this might cut into my writing time. Who knew writing could be so hard when you have a deadline to keep.

2005-10-29T13:12:00.000-07:00

Well I finally found a job and to celebrate Charlie and I went out and spent the little bit of money I still have . I have no self control when it comes to spending . . but in my defense I would like to point out that this only happens to me when I go shopping with Charlie .On other news my sister got a new a cat . Well , after searching everywhere and not being able to find her other cat . she

2005-10-27T19:03:00.000-07:00

I'm bored . And I have a killer headache . I need something to do . Got any suggesions . Anything worth blowing 2 or 3 hours of my life on ??

2005-10-26T10:17:00.000-07:00

What's the deal with little sisters ? I mean is it an universal truth that you will never be able to get along with them . So my sister Mar has been fighting with our younger sister , she's 15 yrs old . And it seems like lately I'm always getting caught in the middle .It's sooo hard for me not to side with her but then I remember what she was like when she was 15 and it's kinda hard not to see

2005-10-25T15:01:00.000-07:00

I've been sick for the past few weeks but now I'm alot better . Did you guys miss me much ? well , good news I finally bought the DVD burner and I'll be working on the pressies I promised some of you .Oh , and my sister's cat vanished without a trace two weeks ago . don't look at me like that ! I had nothing to do with that . Ciao my loves .

2005-10-14T23:31:00.000-07:00

well I didn't find the dvd burner I wanted so I'm still waiting to see if they're going to bring some more this week . I hate having to wait this long - - HA ! I shouldn't have promised my friend that DVD .. well , I guess it's going to take a bit longer then I previously thought .On other news . A friend of mine is getting her book published next year . I'm sooo happy for her but you know it

2005-10-09T00:35:00.000-07:00

I'm going shopping today and there's really only one thing I want . that damn dvd burner . I went hoping to buy it on friday but it wasn't there anymore . so Charlie asked one of the dudes that works there when the next shipment was coming and he said they should have some more by today . I only hope I don't have to wait another week or two .{ P.S Wish me luck on getting a new job .}

2005-10-08T21:49:00.000-07:00

sometimes you put all your faith in the wrong person. and even when everyone tells you what you don't want to hear about said person you blind yourself to the truth. I hope that hasn't happened to you yet.I wanted to believe in her too. But with what she did last week I have to doubt in my mind that she never meant to be anything more then a pin-up girl . I just hope you see it too and don't let

2005-10-05T20:21:00.000-07:00

don't you just hate it when someone says ' there's something about you that I just don't like .' Yet they never actually tell you what that something is . bleh !

2005-10-04T22:24:00.000-07:00

you know the more I hear your voice the more I miss you . that has never happened to me before but then I've never met anyone quite like you .that's a good thing though because I don't think I would be able to survive this a second time .

2005-09-30T23:04:00.000-07:00

I keep forgetting to take my medication . So I don't actually know if it works or not . I mean the DOC tells me I won't notice a change unless I remember to take it everyday . But that's causing me some headaches .. HA ! I'm terrible at remembering things . Or I'll remember at the strangest time . Usually it's around the time I'm getting ready for bed .It's been very windy for the last two days .

2005-09-27T12:10:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to change some of the info and other shit on here but I never have enough time . Or when I actually have some freetime someone shows up wanting to hang . I should stop whining - -Charlie and I are going out to rent some horror movies tomorrow . I like Charlie .. she's like my twin sister . We joke about that all the time . She tends to read my mind and finish my sentences and I

2005-09-20T22:26:00.000-07:00

I've been busy . But then aren't I always . My digital cam died . I'm sad . I'm broke right now and can't go out and buy a new one . that makes me sadder . I'm using my old super cheap digicam . And obviously it doesn't do nearly half of what my other cam used to . I'm sad again . . oh , and I'm dyeing my hair again . Ha! as if my hair wasn't fried enough as it is .But I can't stand the current

2005-09-18T23:37:00.000-07:00

I just heard the cutest story about my boy . . Apparently he talked this girl into giving up her belt .... jajaja .. That sounds just like him . Anyways apparently after she finally parted with her beloved belt she says he wouldn't stop showing his newly acquired possession to anyone who would look . But my poor babies glory died soon along with the battery of his belt . . She says he wouldn't

2005-09-16T12:14:00.000-07:00

The other day I got up very early . Went into the kitchen and poured myself a bowl of cereal. A few minutes later my sister walked into the kitchen and eyed me suspiciously. After a minute or two she finally asked what was on her mind . She wanted to know why I had gotten up so early. This was a first for me .I turned to her with a smile on my face and told her I had just had a great dream and

2005-09-14T22:18:00.000-07:00

Arguing over the internet usually loses it's seriousness . When the guy on the other end knows perfectly well there's no way you can actually kick his ass . Pour yourself some coffee and think about that . . { now go catch a squirrel} kissxkiss

2005-09-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

art by Jhonen V { JTHM}

2005-09-13T21:59:00.000-07:00

The other day my sister told me she saw Z drive by the house . WHAT ??? That's pretty close to my actual reaction. Talk about being over someone . I interrogated her for about an hour {kidding} . I was shocked .. Wasn't Z supposed to be gone . Married bastard that he is . Sadly I have to admit that I wanted to run out the door and see if I could catch a glimpse of him.My sis told me he still

2005-09-06T22:23:00.000-07:00

You know how sometimes you get what you want only to find out that it wasn't at all what you really needed or wanted ??? - - - - well , that has never happened to me . I want {YOU} to come back to me and prove to me that we were never meant to be . I want to know that we would never have worked out even if we had try . Lately I've been so tired . . . how's your life ??

2005-08-18T11:43:00.000-07:00

I've met a nice person online. Sweet like honey. Oh . . . How I wish I could meet someone like that offline. Someone that doesn't remind me of anyone else. A very funny, smart and interesting person. But I'm beginning to believe I'm cursed to never meet anyone nice . Woe is me . Now go jump off a bridge or something .

2005-08-17T21:07:00.000-07:00

I wake up in the middle of the night . And you're all I can think about . Every little thing reminds me of you. I hate that. I hate you. Sometimes I don't miss you at all but you're still on my mind. Forcing me to remember all those silly things we used to do. I wake up in the middle of the night not being able to remember exactly what I was dreaming . Knowing only that it revolved around you.

2005-08-17T11:03:00.000-07:00

I love you all and your horrible little monkey children too . May the world be at peace . And don't let the dogs run free in the yard .